Let's Cut Through the Bullshit

Kinja'd!!! "shpuker" (shpuker)
10/19/2015 at 21:09 • Filed to: None

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Time for me to get in the mix and milk the cow that is Dieselgate. VW cheated, whoop-de-fucking-do, but what does it mean and how did nobody notice? Here’s your non-politically correct breakdown.

Wait what are you talking about?!

Fuck you, google it.

So how big of a fuck up is this?

Astronomically big. As difficult as it is to believe, this is worse for VW, both in public image and likely fines, than killing however many hundred people is for GM. VW is getting hit with billions in fines in the US alone and likely even more worldwide, people are talking about this everywhere, it directly contradicts an image they spent some odd years building, and their stocks have dropped nearly 42% in about a month... Figured I’d just slip that gem in there real quick, yea VW is essentially fucked.

What is this going to mean long term?

Long term it means biting the bullet of a massive recall and beginning the process of attempting to rebuild their image. This isn’t going to be a 1-2 year turn around, VW is going to be dealing with this problem for at least the next decade. I mean hell just say the phrase Ford Exploder to anyone and they’ll know exactly what you’re getting at...

What were the signs?

Aside from VW being essentially the only company in the world not using a urea based system on the impacted cars? Well you had Multiple groups in 2011 that started to get suspicious (See the European Whomeverthefucks Joint Research Center’s study), another European investigation in 2014 by the ICCT, BOSCH’s statement to VW in 2009, oh and the fact that VW only makes AWD versions of its diesels from vehicles that already had urea injection...

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Yea you wanted to know why VW hadn’t made an AWD diesel sportwagon until now? Because doing so would’ve required placing the vehicles on an AWD dyno for emissions testing which would obviously force the rear wheels to turn. Don’t believe me? !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! It’s based off a platform nearly identical to a model in question, uses the same engines as the impacted models (not only the diesel but essentially every engine transfers), it was subject to the same emissions regulations, and yet both the FWD and AWD versions of the diesels used a urea based system.

Now keep that in your mind and tell me VW’s execs weren’t aware of the cheat. You mean to tell me you saw that one of your most popular models wasn’t being offered in a collection of trims that would likely have sold in at least profitable numbers in most world markets, and you didn’t ask any questions? You didn’t ask why two nearly identical vehicles didn’t use the same emissions control? Bullshit.

So fuck Volkswagen?

Yea fuck Volkswagen...


DISCUSSION (22)


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 21:32

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Easily the second-most sinister thing VAG has ever engineered! Behind you-know-what...

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Kinja'd!!! Opposite Locksmith > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 21:34

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Great points


Kinja'd!!! PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 22:10

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I wouldn't go as far as fuck VW. yeah they fucked up, but boo-hoo, so what if a bit more of some random ass gas got released? I'd gladly go and buy a de-catted, de-mufflered V10 TDI touareg and roll all the coal in the world


Kinja'd!!! desertdog5051 > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 22:33

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They got caught. The lawyers are already advertising on TV.

Yes, you are so incensed that your VW diesel did not meet said emmision levels. You never even gave it a thought, until now. You are so green all of a sudden.

Did you really have any thoughts beyond how great the fuel mileage is?

Oh, and when you are running your gas lawn mower and weed whacker, don’t forget about their emission levels.


Kinja'd!!! promoted by the color red > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
10/19/2015 at 22:41

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Instead of getting laws changed or even obtaining exemptions, VW knowingly went around the rules knowing full well the consequences of what would happen if they got caught but they still went ahead and did it.

It’s just shitty engineering and that’s why I’m not happy with their work. Any jackass can develop a work-around to game the system.


Kinja'd!!! cuts_off_prius > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 23:09

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I like VWs, but I’ve just about had it. VW cheats with every chance they get, from fitting press cars with nicer materials to installing spring clamps to lower ride heights to give a sleeker look during auto shows. Makes one wonder what else they are hiding...


Kinja'd!!! GhostZ > shpuker
10/19/2015 at 23:19

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VW is going to pay a speeding ticket and sail on through this no problem. The only reason that it might be worse than a slap on the wrist is because the EPA is very powerful and well-funded and will want to make an example of it.


Kinja'd!!! FazeRacer > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
10/19/2015 at 23:39

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And attitudes like this is why our environment is shit.


Kinja'd!!! PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > FazeRacer
10/20/2015 at 00:15

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did I say I care about the environment at any point? no... .I don't think so......


Kinja'd!!! shpuker > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
10/20/2015 at 03:27

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Don’t get me wrong, I fully plan on running an A4 TDI wagon at some point in my life with the add blue system turned the fuck off and obviously a bit more, hence my “fuck VW” isn’t because of what this adds to their environmental footprint. Fuck VW because they got lazy and realized they could add a significant profit margin by skimping out on these cars and tricking the ECU and due to the fact that they based years of ad campaigns on the premise that these cars were essentially global warming’s goddamn kryptonite.


Kinja'd!!! shpuker > cuts_off_prius
10/20/2015 at 03:31

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I would assume a lot, and I would assume the EPA and other organizations will be looking into just that (not just by VW either).


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > shpuker
10/20/2015 at 04:09

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“VW is going to be dealing with this problem for at least the next decade.”

i’m guessing they’ll never be able to forget it.


Kinja'd!!! R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > shpuker
10/20/2015 at 11:03

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Not trying to stir the pot, but it is a scientific fact that barren land in sub Saharan Africa puts out more Co2 and Carbon into the atmosphere simply from the monsoon rainwater evaporating into the air. They have created a new style of farming to combat this, because the more vegetation to collect the water the less evaporates. I will be back to supply this comment with evidence later.


Kinja'd!!! shpuker > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
10/20/2015 at 15:23

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To clarify, I’m not saying VW is destroying the world or some BS, I’m saying they tried to cheat the system and violated the very basis of their advertising in the process.


Kinja'd!!! shpuker > GhostZ
10/20/2015 at 15:36

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This isn’t just an issue the EPA is going to be hitting them on. VW is going to be dealing with the blowback from this in every major market, most of which have a significantly higher number of impacted vehicles.


Kinja'd!!! Nick > shpuker
10/20/2015 at 17:10

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my 01 never smoked that much! he needs to adjust his tune!


Kinja'd!!! GhostZ > shpuker
10/20/2015 at 17:26

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VW will sell about 10.4 million vehicles this year.

Even if this scandal causes a 10% drop in sales globally, a huge number, they would still sell more vehicles than they did prior to 2012. They would still be in the top 3 or 4 sellers worldwide, well ahead of Ford, Hyundai, Honda, Mazda, and most other manufacturers.

Maybe I’m a just a pessimist, but I don’t think that more than 1 out of 10 global buyers care enough about these emissions would go elsewhere, especially after they have fixed the problem for future models.

Their profits are still increasing at double-digits. This is a speeding ticket to them, nothing more. The max fine for them (which they certainly won’t pay in full) is still less than 1 year of profit.


Kinja'd!!! Your boy, BJR > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
10/20/2015 at 17:40

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No but you should. Y’know, if you like not getting insta-cancer every time you breathe.


Kinja'd!!! PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Your boy, BJR
10/20/2015 at 18:22

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LOL. I grew up around TDI VW's. my dad's brother is a diesel mechanic, and he doesn't have cancer (he's 55)


Kinja'd!!! shpuker > GhostZ
10/20/2015 at 18:55

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You have to look at all the blowback combined. Yea they might get a $2 billion fine here, of which say they pay half. But then theres the fact that globally they’ll probably get hit with 20 times that amount (assuming it scales up with each vehicle sold).

On top of that VW’s diesels are on essentially a worldwide sales hold right now, which might not cause a big loss in profits in the US but in Europe that’s a huge deal.

Then there’s stock value. VW is down to $98 a share from $170 just over a month ago, aka a 42% drop in just over a month and still dropping.

Even further you’ll get a dealer suit for used vehicle value loss probably to the tune of 2-5 billion worldwide.

And after all of that is said and done. They still have to fix the cars. That’s 11 million vehicles that they’ll either have to buy back or significantly modify. If this fiasco doesn’t cost VW upwards of $50+ billion I’ll be surprised.


Kinja'd!!! R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > shpuker
10/20/2015 at 21:35

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No I fully understand your POV just wanted to share this:

Watch it, it’s worth 15 minutes of your life.


Kinja'd!!! ThatGuyToolingAroundInTheShitbox > shpuker
02/01/2016 at 14:44

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Yeah thanks VW for ruining it for everyone by cutting ALL the corners.. Diesel was making a cultural-acceptance comeback gradually, and you fucked it up buy building it on fakery.

That said, I filled my ‘97 TDI Jetta up before work today. I got 48.4 mpg on this last tank, and that’s actually fairly worse than what I’m used to.

TDI, cold dead hands, etc.. I love that thing. And parts are so cheap they’re almost free.